Jacksonville, FL. Feb 17 - 23, 2012.

Jacksonville, Florida. February 17-23, 2012.

Capella University: Clinical Residency, Track 1.

There are very few stages in your life marked by an event that causes a collapse and dramatic shift in the ongoing progression of your life. My Capella University Track 1 Residency was such a momentous event. For the first time in my life I was surrounded by hundreds of students from across the globe, from diverse lives and life-styles within a humanitarian psychological context, amongst influential humanistic clinical psychologists who oversaw our training. My class consisted of 3 white males and 8 females, (2 of whom were white, 1 Asian Pilipino, and 5 African-American). 

During the residency, besides being exposed to one another's remarkable cultural and experiential differences, we were exposed to various clinical in-take techniques and modules, ethics of multi-cultural diversity, role-playing, questioning, and chances to apply our chosen theories of therapy resonating most closely with us. Mine of course was the revolutionary Client-Centered Therapy introduced and developed by Carl Rogers. Rogers introduced a non-directive mode of mental healing where the client themselves within the dynamics of their own inner locus of control dictate the direction of the session, the therapist merely reflecting, paraphrasing, closely attending to that locus of control within the client through endless empathy, genuine acceptance, complete non-judgment,  and unconditional positive regard.

At the core of Roger’s theory is the belief in the client themselves, that given an environment of true total acceptance, genuine love, and non-threatening judgment, the client may unravel their complexes by becoming totally aware of them, and in time, discover the truth about who they really are in their midst, and embrace themselves, free their inner natures, and realize their individual (for a lack of a better word) soul, or locus of control. The therapist never advises or directs, but attends fully to the locus of control flickering within the client, a locus that perhaps hides behind the guise of stubborn egoic and self-destructive constructs, and more often than not persists in the life of the client with them totally unaware of it. The truth is, it only seems that the Rogerian approach to mental healing is indirect on the surface, but on the contrary, it is highly direct and potent in a very non-directive way. It's not about the therapist to diagnose, advise, direct, but rather, its all about the client. During therapy, in time, all the elements of the clients psychological constructs are fully presented to them, the true, the false, the profane and the profound. The endless warmth, compassion, understanding and total acceptance projected by the therapist, and one that is experienced by the client, facilitates a relationship unlike one ever before experienced, - one of complete and utter love. On a deeper level, the therapist is the outer representation of the clients inner most core, one that the client sometime somewhere in their evolution for whatever stubborn narcissistic reason was forced to abandon, but a core that aches for a peace, and harmony to reverberate through out the field of the persons life, through out all their physical, psychoemotional and sociological realms on every imaginable and unimaginable level. Rogerian therapy, in the hands of the right practitioner, is deeply spiritual, humanistic, transformational and transcendental. It is not surprising that Roger contemplated a career in ministry, but the light of his contribution to secular psychology eventually will find its way back and penetrate even the most stubborn and resistant of religious practices.

Which brings me to my momentary visit at the Chabad of Jacksonville, under the Shliach Rabbi Shmuel Novack. Rabbi Novack, himself Hassidic and observant from birth, at one time confessed he too contemplated getting a degree in Psychology, an idea I advocate for all rabbis and other religious community leaders, and if not, at least they should familiarize themselves with various theories since they are readily exposed and confronted with many souls in their communities, perhaps seeking salvation, or perhaps even mentally disordered individuals struck with pathology, or maybe simply individuals seeking solace. Whatever it may be, if not to heal, religious leaders should at least be equipped with knowledge to be able to detect dangerous psychopathology that may be life threatening in its variety of forms.

Within the context of what seemed to be the spiritual nature of the residency, in the respect that we all collectively and unconsciously entered a healing environment of education and advancement in our psychological careers, the Juxtaposition of Chabad to my residency added a dimension that injected my experience with Authentic Orthodox Judaism. My meeting the Jacksonville Shliach, Rabbi S. Novack, I was thrust into a subconscious pool of unresolved dynamics in my own religious life from my youth, and the variety of complexes that became a product of it. The emotional power of it was simply overwhelming, nearly drowning me amidst a resurrection of profound unresolved paternal and fraternal longing. The process was not made any easier by the well intentioned Rabbi who followed his daily duties by inviting me to ingest kosher meals, a delicious cuisine of his own making in the company of his holy children and beautiful wife. I mention that the psychoemotional process I was undergoing was not made easier, for the reason that Rabbis, as wonderful and as well intentioned as they are, and as profound the camaraderie they feel towards members of their familial tribe (and global community), they simply have no knowledge nor sensitivity to the real needs of the people they are confronted with. They are not healers of psychoemotional or social complexes, and perhaps they are not meant to be. Or perhaps they are meant to be. If not them, who else? Rabbis, or other religious leaders, at present are rather instructors and service providers for the learning and practice of divine law, which in my cultural context is Torah. Of course, it would serve Rabbis a great good fortune if they do graduate to the high seat of truly understanding not only the spiritual obligation of the human being, but also possess the knowhow and the skill utilizing those tools to direct man to cleanse and purge of those dis-eases that plague him, and hence, realign that human being with his ever healthy and vibrant internal nature, his innermost being, his soul, his G-d, may He be eternally blessed. 

The most kind and sincere Rabbi Novack, as all divinely inspired G-d fearing Rabbis, was merely an instrument through which staggering revelations were conveyed to me. Indeed, the Rabbi’s seemingly clairvoyant insights into my life reminded me not to forget, but remind myself of the enormous contribution the multi-dimensional timeless Torah must necessarily make to the scholarly secular mind of psychology. Indeed psychology and all its branches is the revealed changeable and evolving plane of mans existence, and the Torah is mans soul, the hidden body of all that is, was and forever will be.

Revelation upon revelation followed my Friday night Shabbat at the Jacksonville, Chabad house. After couple futile emails I had sent to a few Jacksonville Chabad houses a week prior to my visit, I was faced with a conflict on how I would spend my upcoming Shabbos, a holy day between nightfall Friday and nightfall Saturday. Late Thursday evening in my small Jaclsonville Plaza hotel bed on the 16^th of February, 2012, falling slightly asleep, I woke myself up, and made the effort to email just another Chabad house somewhere, in hopes that I may, instead of spending it all by myself, find a nice family with whom to observe this awesome, celebratory day in an authentic orthodox Jewish fashion. The next day, I got an email “We’d love to have you”, of course, based on a recommendation on a reference I attached, Rabbi Levi Cunin of Malibu California, one I included in my email the previous night. And so, I was all set. Indeed I was happy, and yet reserved about what I was getting myself into. I had been struggling with constantly being an over-staying stranger at these generous peoples homes to observe religious obligations. Nonetheless, my faith is great, and so is theirs, and as orthodox Judaism encourages, stepping way beyond ones comfort zone, making that leap is met by a treasure of true enlightenment, a gift given to those that perform acts of self-sacrifice, subjugating their animal natures to divine will, and the divine ordinances, the observation of Shabbos being the most important.

Besides meeting the Rabbi on his secular birthday, February 17, he also happened to share the Hebrew birthday of my nephew living in Toronto, erev Purim. Second, a song  so dear and close to my heart was sung at the Shabbos table, one that has never been sung in all my religious experience, that haunting melody by Carlebach “Hitnaari”. Thirdly, days later while enjoying the Rabbis fine cuisine, I demonstrated a recorded piece of my music I had composed a couple years earlier, a song without words. Rabbi Novack, after listening to about a minute of it, guessed its name almost entirely. A piece of music I titled “Victory Street”, he titled “Road to Victory”. Now, I’m not sure what the odds would be in correctly guessing one word, but it seems to me highly unlikely to guess 2 words or a sentence unbeknown to one, both in content and structure, i.e. what I saw as a "street" to victory, Rabbi Novack saw as a "road", to victory. I thought that was profound. For whatever reason, even the most profound is momentary, and we can never be sure what they represent. But in my case, it seemed to me that the universe gave weight in all m explorations to my associations with Torah life rather than secular life, a revelation that appeared to me with immense light and emotional pulsations, in the midst of tremendous, effortless warmth and love.

In time, exactly 7 days after coming back from Jacksonville, Florida, on March 1, 2012, the ground began to appear beneath my feet. A series of self confrontation and acceptance sessions brought some quiet earth into my restless and bewildered fire.  No doubt, the first residency changed me, and the intense exposure to multi-cultural diversity, acceptance, non-judgment on the one psychological side, juxtaposed pure Ahavas Yisroel or brotherly love, religious affiliation, obligation, music, and mysticism on the religious side were grand extensions and projections of my own Self propelling me toward a redefinition beyond my then-present self concept. Beyond my expectation, I was made to confront very serious abandoned and unresolved aspects of myself that potentially threatened my evolution as a human being, and as an eternal child of the universe destined for self actualization and realization.

Needless to say, I was overwhelmed with the love of G-d and His divine people. Of course, as it is with all things, in the first few days of my return, that love sustained me, but it began to wane. Why? Because of the lack of cleaving to a living example living and walking the path of truth. One of the most important discussions with Rabbi Novack, was the importance of having a Rabbi, or Rebbe to guide you. It could have been him, it could have been his Rebbe, my Rebbe, the late Lubavitche Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Schneersohn. But the more I pondered and obsessed upon these gnawing questions, the more I lost my autonomy, and further opened myself to fragmentation, psychological and social dismemberment, and a loss of peace, a recurring visitation in my life. The more I sought the intervention of some other human being, the more I lost view of my own human being. The more I sought the presence of another to inspire me, the more I lost sight of my own well of inspiration. The more I lost sight of myself, the more uncomfortable, plagued, possessed and broken I became.

Our leaders, our magnificent guides handed to us by the Creator of all life, are here to remind us that our destiny is to become self realized, actualized, one and whole just as they are. We are not to substitute ourselves with another self, for that would be synonymous with having an image of someone other than the vibrant, endless no-image that exists within our core oneness, that extends entirely singular all around us. There are to be no bounds between the inner most self, and the outer most self. The intermediary of all worlds is ones own mind. The only way to perfect and free that mind is by allowing it to truly become imageless.

To be subservient, and lower yourself, even out of your immense love, to another human being or object is a sore mistake that will come to haunt you until you stop. Indeed we can love and fall in love with awesome individuals or concepts, and become utterly inspired by them, but in the long run, we have to be very mindful that these are merely projections of feelings that bubble inside our own hearts. They remind us of things that are living forever within us. To grasp and run after their representations in the external world is the root of all pathology. But  to disassociate the image attached to the feeling, and to allow the emotion, free of image or object association, is to align oneself with ones core, ones G-d that eternally communicates with each human being uniquely and individually. And ultimately that feeling or emotion is Love and Oneness. 

I met some very inspiring individuals at the Capella Residency. I made some remarkable psychological breakthroughs and have also set myself up for deeper and more challenging questions and difficulties, only to stand humbly higher what I ever could have imagined prior. Primarily, is the question of what to do with revelation? Where to place the magnificent plutonic love for humanity, family, culture? All I can say at the end of the day, certainly at the end of each day, no matter what is presented under its sweet light, or withdraws coldly into its shadows, is thank you L-rd G-d, thank you HaShem, thank you for these tears in my eyes, for the aches in my heart, for the visions in my soul, and for shaking me up to get up from my sleep. But above all, thank you for your Torah. For, we are not thrown into this bottomless abyss blind with no rope to lift us up out of the depths of despair into the light of heaven, but by your Torah, an overarching triumphant and victorious tree of life for all those that hang steadily onto it….

Blessings,

Sha-Ron Kushnir. 

1^st March, 2012.

Los Angeles, CA.